When the training came to an end we returned to the west, Mahapatra to Seattle and me to Toronto. I resumed my bodywork practice and began to share what I had learned with my clients. Many were intrigued by the new work and began to book sessions for Tibetan Pulsing instead of for Rebalancing. It was still so new, I sometimes worked with my manual in one hand, magnifying glass in the other. But I was excited and aspired to be a great healer. It all seemed so simple -- just plug in and wait. What I was to discover was that there is no such thing as a great healer, and that it's just a joke to believe that you are doing something to the other. I didn't get this right away, of course, but soon enough. In the meantime I enjoyed the intimate connections made through the work, and I continued to learn through the willingness of my clients. By the end of that season I was giving Tibetan Pulsing sessions about 75% of the time, and Rebalancing sessions the other 25%. Mahapatra would fly in from time to time and we'd work together, which opened up a whole new dimension. By the time we returned to Poona we felt confident and terribly experienced. We soon discovered we were barely neophytes. 

We began our apprenticeship, which consisted of many levels of assistance in groups, sessions, and trainings, as well as taking part in several teaching modules. There were "test sessions", to determine our readiness to proceed on to the next level , which took the place of any formal examinations. These test sessions could be booked with any number of qualified individuals, and were basically set up as practitioner/client situations. 

It was during this time I became ill with a severe urinary tract infection. Trouble with my kidneys and bladder had been chronic since I was about 4 or 5 years old. Each year, particularly throughout adulthood, I suffered from an average of six bouts. I'd had minor surgery, countless doses of antibiotics, and in later years many attempts at natural remedies, some of which were temporarily successful. But it was as if my life were a series of infections, with only intermittent relief. I was always bracing myself for the next attack. So here I was, a "Pulser", and I felt that now I must put my trust in that system. 

Each day, for about seven days, Mahapatra, and our two friends, Amrita and Sanatha, worked on me. As they worked the infection raged. It seemed as if my whole body cavity were inflamed. I encountered the attitudes of the bladder and kidneys. Witnessing my struggle to stay in control, and the tension in my body that refused to let go, made the connection to childhood incidents suddenly clear. The bladder is the organ that deals with stress, public shame, and the control necessary to conceal anything which might be considered shameful or humiliating. Aside from the previously mentioned traits, the kidneys have to do with confusion, problems with identity and sexual identity, femininity, and receptivity. During the course of the treatment I encountered the traumas associated with not being able to control my bladder throughout my childhood. This recollection opened the doors to an earlier memory, when I was about four, of falling on to an open cupboard door, smashing my pubic bone, and rupturing my hymen. This then sparked the memory of the humiliation I when the doctor examined me and then proceeded to whisper to my mother. My reaction, at the time, had been to show a brave face and to pretend that nothing was wrong with me, while being convinced that deep down something was very wrong with me. Even after I arrived at this clear understanding of the roots of the problem the infection showed no signs of relenting. At least I could no longer bear it. Feelings of futility overtook me, and I realized that practically my whole life I had struggled with this thing. I was always fighting, and suddenly the urge to fight was gone. I was tired. I thought, okay, I give up. I guess it's time to die. And something core within relaxed, gave way, and I was able to sleep. In the morning I woke up refreshed. Maha looked at me, puzzled, and asked how I was. I replied, just fine, thanks, and bounded out of bed. And then I remembered how sick I'd been just hours before! If the jury had been out on this whole Pulsing thing, then it just came back in. Later, deeper layers of the same issues were revealed to me, and I had to work through them also, but this was certainly a major revelation about how the method worked and could be adopted. And also what was required of the "receiver". 

Near the end of that period in Poona, Dheeraj brought out what he called "High Tech Tantra", in which the whole body is used to generate the electrical current. Once contact with the key points of a given circuit is established, the fire is brought through the system by means of "pumping". Pumping is a subtle rhythmic motion, from the pelvis, using the sex energy to burn through superficial defensive layers and connect effectively with the core blockages. Our sex energy being our most fundamental, most basic energy. This is not to be confused with sexual energy, and all our sessions are given fully clothed. I feel it as ignition, except the engine is a living being. As Dheeraj jokingly put it, "Now you can make love to all your friends without having to take your pants off." And it's true to the extent that the sessions are very intimate. You are "plugged in" to the very pulsebeat of the other, that pulsebeat originating from the heart, with your own pulsebeat, your own heart, and those two hearts beat as one. The spaces can be very deep, very silent. When there is no interference from the mind then all barriers dissolve, and it is truly blissful. 

Since that trip we have focused our energy on building an almost exclusively Pulsing clientele, expanding to small groups, couple sessions, and open evenings, in addition to the individual sessions. The open evenings usually use a streaming format, which utilizes the collective current to balance out disharmonies within a given circuit. By connecting a number of people to the appropriate places in the circuit in a relaxed manner; that is having arms, legs, or feet linked or touching, often in a chain, or closed circle, while people are lying comfortably, this stream redistributes the electricity so that balance is restored. If a person is too yin, depressive or passive in that circuit, then as the stream passes through, the electrical charge enters, and neutralizes the negative charge. It washes over the negativity and carries the charge out. In the same stream someone who is too active to be receptive may acquire the calmer energies and qualities of that organ as the current passes through. These events often have a profound affect on the participants, and we find them to be personally very moving to host. 

One of the most important aspects of my work as a Tibetan Pulser is how much is learned, and how much understanding is deepened by the courage and willingness of the people who come to us. It is a constantly expanding and touching experience to be in the presence of those in their processes of transformation. Our sessions start with a half hour consultation to determine the current direction or needs of the client. Here they expose themselves, open their windows, share their past, present, and also play games like hide and seek, cry, laugh, and point to their demons. This was when they allow me to look into their eyes, and together we decide in which direction to move. Once the organ is decided upon, we set up the treatment room, with the colour, fragrance, and music that vibrates at that frequency. The journey begins. Most often we begin with a type of ceremony that is a direct translation of an ancient Tibetan initiation ritual, designed to bring the recipient into a deeuly relaxed state. It involves the placing of the session-giver's hands on specific areas of the face, head, neck and shoulders, and slowly drawing out the tensions that are lodged there. Orce a state of no-mind is arrived at there is little interference from the mind's noise, and the blockages can be contacted quickly, heated up, and melted down, or pulled out. This takes trust, and once trust has arisen then much can be cleansed, purified, released. 

Sometimes it does not arise, and then for specific reasons. In these times compassion and clarity of vision is needed. To elaborate I will recount a little history from our files. A woman had been coming for sessions for a couple of months. She had many issues with femininity, particularly her own and much unresolved friction with her mother. One of the ways she dealt with an underlying suspicion that the term, "feminine power" is an oxymoron was to become masculine in her bearing and approach. She had recognized that these attitudes were no longer appropriate nor effective in protecting her. She was intensely unhappy, angry, and felt tired of constantly trying to prove herself with little control over her situation. 

We worked the kidney circuit to help open her feminine channel, release blame, and clear her confusion. What ensued was a tremendous release from deep within. A dam broke and the resulting flood of tears shook her tremendously. The release came from such a core place within that she was unable to put her finger on its source or cause. This troubled her greatly, and I assured her that it wasn't necessary to nail down the exact reason for the release, that she could just allow the flood of emotions, relax with it, and allow the process. Old holding patterns shift most effectively when ideas do not interfere with the clearing process. Very often is the case that the sessions serve to stir up burned emotions, patterns and memories, which only becomes evident at a later time. It is usually in retrospect that we can observe the shifts and progress we have made, or what no longer needed pattern of behaviour has been dropped, But at this point she became even more distressed and angry, saying she couldn't possibly be different than she was, that she needed to know what exactly was happening and why. Even though I assured her that she needn't be different, and that whatever she needed to know would become apparent to her with time, there lingered an uneasy feeling. 

When she returned for her next session she informed me that she no longer wished to receive sessions, because she felt pushed and unclear about the process, and did not trust me enough to permit access to her deep self. She had the sense that I was going into her being, and rewiring what I found there without her permission. We had a long, amiable talk, and I respected her decision. It was only afterwards that the whole situation came into perspective. 

First, I realized that since my primary vocal tone vibrates my kidneys and that when I speak I affect the kidneys and kidney issues of those who hear me, then this woman's issues were intensely activated, not only by the session, but by my very presence. "Problems" associated with the kidneys include projection, blame, confusion, non-receptivity, and intolerance of the feminine. So her fears and unresolved traumas were stirred up and intensified by the work with me and the attitudes we sought to clear were fortified instead. At that time, unfortunately, neither of us made the connection, and so it was impossible for her to take the next step. It could have been the perfect opportunity to disidentify, to let go of these mind sets, because she was right up against them -- a little clarity and the walls might have tumbled down. For my part, I feel grateful to her, for demonstrating how precisely and specifically the traits of each organ act and function. Each encounter has such incredible potential to strip away illusions if we just stay alert and available. And I trust this woman's integrity, that she was indeed on a sincere path, and would meet these parts of herself when the time became ripe. There are no accidents. 

How I view the process is as a very efficient means of allowing all that is not essential, all that is not the true and natural self, all that keeps one from experiencing life directly, all that makes us reactive instead of responsive, to fall away, to be dissolved, transformed, leaving us open, clean, grounded, centred, empowered, and silent ... 

Mahapatra and I work together most of the time, a fine balance of yin and yang -- often the yin being him and the yang me. He takes his place at the head of the recipient and lays his big warm hands on their face. I take my place where the DC electrical current flows -- the legs and pelvis. Together we ignite the inner fire of the being while they descend into themselves. Thus a chain is formed, three beings connected as one, pulsing, hearing together. As we then plug into the appropriate areas we become that conduit, the blockages transforming into pure energy as they pass through our bodies. It is a fine and sometimes ecstatic fusion of becoming lost in the merging currents, and staying alert to witness the quiet dance. 

There are periods when we work very intensely on each other, during illness or periods of crisis. We come to each other and say, "Work my liver," or, "I need a duodenum session," or, "Looks like you could use some stomach work," and so on. Until this year we have spent half our time in India, expanding our understanding while working on ourselves. This year [1992-ed.] we decided to stay in the west and establish a continuum with our practice. So now, rather than leaving to focus on ourselves, we have incorporated our own growth even more into our daily work, and have found the reflection remarkable. Both client and practitioner alike are moving rapidly into their own transformation, each step triggering the other's process. 

As we all know, there's no time to waste. We are on the brink, and it is our choice whether to soar or tumble. But we are all feathers on the same wing, each beautiful, iridescent, unique, and connected. For every being who makes the choice to fly the journey home becomes that much lighter, that much more joyous. 

Postscript
Since writing this Mahapatra and I have split, and my practice has continued solo. Rebalancing has been reintroduced, as I have found that the combination of deep bodywork to release stress in the tissue of the body, and the more subtly profound Tibetan Pulsing is very efficient in dealing with the whole being. The added influences of Gangaji, a woman mystic, who has a delightful methodless method to help one realize that they never left home, and my Iifemate, Ned, a traditional Native Canadian, who has enhanced all I have learned with his own wisdom, have strengthened and enriched both my life and my work. In truth, there is little or no separation between my life and my work. One could not ask for more.  

 Return to Page 1

click on the fire for current streaming information