The aroma of many fires past envelope you upon entering the teepee. The fire at the centre is there to greet you. The gentle flame purifying your thoughts as you find your space to reflect by the fire.  The stillness and the noise help balance your mind and your heart. With a feeling of safety after a smudge you begin to open up. Surrounded by the "grandfathers" of sweats gone by. We feel how it is to feel.
Opening up to a whole new set of possibilities. Glimmers of new awareness arise as we sit and we feel. This should be everyday ceremony; to give thanks for the many gifts that were given to us by our own Great Mystery.  The quiet and the noise equals Balance!

Teepee time is to have someone who has the gift to listen. I recall growing up, as a teenager, not knowing  what it is that I was searching for. Wondering at the many potential roads that I could travel, and deep down in my heart knowing that my path was set for me by the unknown. Learning to accept this gift was not easy. There were countless hours of confusion and dread. Dreading what it was that I had. Where were these dreams coming from? Confusion over what it was being asked of me. Questioning where it was that I came from. Why did I feel so confident and protected and why did I feel so insecure and lonely? I needed some guidance and I didn't even know at the time that that is what I was seeking. 

I was having tremendous fun growing up with  friends both close and distant . Experiencing fun, joy, and anger. Playing Indian and doing ceremonies that didn't have any heart to it. For instance, picking up a Drum and making crazy chants while using the Hollywood beat. A Hollywood beat would be considered having three soft beats with one hard beat, commonly heard in what is regarded as spaghetti westerns. Movies that were produced and filmed in Italy using Italians portraying Natives in the 1940's and 50's.

The elderly in the community were always calling me over to their place as I was walking by their homes. Offering me tea and chatter. It was always amusing to listen to the jokes that came from their mouths. I felt such respect for these old ones because they were so real and not demanding. It really was quite a treat to listen to them.

I lived in a canoe for three summers, listening to and getting to know the water. Paddling many miles and sleeping under the canoe at night. Everything I owned was in that canoe, it wasn't very much but it was mine. I did manage to find a beautiful bay on Fox Island. A Native owned piece of island land in the Kawarthas. The neighbours who called their makeshift cabins a summer home that became quite impressive as time went on. There was a sense of completion and pride at the end of the day when we could sit back and enjoy our tea. There wasn't anything like this tea, which was made from the waters of Chemong lake. Visiting with them and listening to the stories and legends of long ago by camp fire light with a cup of tea in my hand. Sitting on the ground quietly with these old ones. This was the time that I discovered the true gift of the sacred tobacco. To give thanks always for life, like hearing the songs of the loons on the lake in the distance, or the silhouette of the pine trees by moonlight.  To me, there is nothing more sacred than laughter from the elders and the children.

In my mid teens it was very important that I find someone who was able to listen.This woman of 70+, would sit upon her rocking chair and just rock with her eyes closed and just listen. She was there to offer her tea and cookies and allow me to sit and talk as long as I needed. Just sitting there and listening was truly a wonderful gift that I needed at that time. Influencing me more so now than I thought. I find myself drawing on that teaching of the power of listening.

I left the reservation I grew up in right out of high school. Experienced so much and traveled more than I wanted. But it was all for learning. Had relationships that allowed me to grow. Jobs that to this day I give thanks for but I'd hate to go back to. The job I enjoyed the most was Acting. The exercises, rehearsal time, travel, the people I met, and the togetherness. Got me over my shyness pretty fast I must say. I was learning how to share time and space.

Through all of this, it was important to find someone who would be my partner, my soul mate, and my twin flame. Deepam had asked me to dance with her during one of the social songs at a traditional pow-wow. The feelings I experienced while dancing with her was unbelievable. It was like, Ned, it is time for you to open up. This is the one, what are you going to do about it? What I did was I let her go after that weekend with no intentions of seeing her again. After all, a pow-wow is where you meet people and if you happen to meet again then great, if not then there is always someone else at the next pow-wow. I went back to my mom's home and my mother just happened to be having telephone problems.  Deepam was trying and trying to get a hold of me. She got through after a couple days of trying and invited me to visit her in Toronto. As I headed out on that Thursday morn to catch a bus to Toronto, I jokingly said to my mother," I'm off to Toronto to fall in love". Deepam and I have been dancing ever since and that is no joke.

Yes we have had our hard times and they were trying. But we also know that we could overcome them. 
When we committed ourselves to marriage, we knew that it was going to be for life. A legal marriage in the eyes of the government was not good enough. We had to commit ourselves in the eyes of our Creator. A Traditional marriage was put together. A huge give-away, a feast, and close friends, past and present were invited to attend. I discovered that the elderly lady from my teens was living in a senior citizens complex. I went to go see her and invite her and it was a relief knowing she remembered me after not seeing her for almost twenty years. That was quite an emotional time for me during the marriage ceremony when I saw her slowly getting out of the vehicle that drove her there. She was going to be here to witness my day. Sadly she entered into the spirit world a month or so later.

Jalbun Lodge Spiritual Retreat grew into an entity onto itself. We opened the doors and let whatever happen just happen. The guests/participants and helpers really gave us guidance. The programs developed were ones where it felt good to offer them. With Deepam's gifts and Judy providing the motivation, "Teepee Time" became a reality.

By spending the majority of my life honing the natural gift of listening I start to become more aware of how deep I can go with knowing where it is other people are coming from in terms of the issues they bring. Tying together and relating with them, feeling their pain or joy. Just seeing the benefits of release and relief of those getting it off their chest is a magical moment. I can picture myself in the rocking chair with my eyes closed and just listening. My coffee taking the place of the tea I once held. Thank you so much Bernice! Thank you so much for helping me bring "Teepee Time" to life.

All My Relations

Ned Benson