Report on the 2000 Summer/Fall Season

FRESH STARTS

This spring began with a Sweat Lodge Ceremony that got under way in the wee hours, at the very moment of the Spring Equinox. There were quite a few participants and it was a great celebration, but we learned something: it takes a very long time to come back to normal after a ceremony that begins at 2:30 in the morning of a weeknight!! We have decided, henceforth, to bring in the seasons with a simple ceremony and a feast.  That is what we did for the Summer Solstice. Although we sent word out to everyone on our email mailing list we had a gathering of about 20 people, intimate and special. The New VR came to cover our ceremony and did a very respectful piece on the lodge that aired at the end of the 11 o'clock news that night. It was a potluck feast on a warm evening, followed by a circle around the sacred fire with a smudge, song, and prayers to welcome the ripening season.

 

NEW FACES

 Judy...

In May Judy Hodge came to participate in our program, and it was apparent from the beginning that this woman carries profound gifts. She came to us at a crucial time in her healing process, and she made use of our services extensively as she provided much needed services to the lodge, such as putting in beautiful flower and vegetable gardens, grounds maintenance, and whatever else was needed. When we said, "Our home is your home," Judy took us at our word, and purchased a cube van that had been converted to a mobile home and took up residence in a little grove on the north west side of the property. Whatever we have done for her she has returned a hundred fold, and it is with great pleasure we include her in the Jalbun Lodge Family. She is "Judy Hodge of Jalbun Lodge"! She offered Ned tobacco to assist her on her journey and it was with great pleasure Ned accepted. As they worked together Ned's "emails" became clear in their meaning, and he offered Judy the opportunity to be an apprentice. After some soul searching she accepted, and they work side by side now. She eases much of his work load, and her blossoming and strengthening are apparent.

 

Patti...

About two years ago a local woman dropped in to chat with us about a friend who was in need of spiritual assistance. She wanted to help in a non interfering respectful way. From time to time over the next while we had contact with her, not realizing that the invisible line between us was shortening, drawing her close. She offered cedar. The friend she had sought help for was working with us and mentioned that this person was a wonderful artist and might be willing to donate a canvas to the lodge. Patti George came into our lives this summer with her abundance of gifts, humour, and insight. She has remarkable capacity and myriad talents which she offers freely. She has donated items and offered services unconditionally. It is an honour to include her in the Jalbun Lodge family. She is artist, Mother, chef, and friend. Her paintings grace the walls of the dining room, and are available for purchase. We are hoping to post some samples of her work in future web pages.

photo courtesy Cheryl Duggan

Thoughts on Walking the Red Road:
 

There are some who grapple with the issue that surfaces again and again with non Natives as we walk the "Red Road". We need to remind ourselves that we are not "stealing" anything, but only following very sound and sane ways of being. We are not pretending to be or aspiring to be Aboriginal, nor is this choice of approach to life just a phase or a dabbling. We are who we are, with our own backgrounds and histories, and we have seen and understood the wisdom and intelligence of many of the traditional Aboriginal attitudes and practices. We are not taking anything away from anyone, as it is understood from that tradition that these things cannot be possessed. We feel we are honouring and respecting these teachings.  On that note I want to add that the lodge's approach is based on the teachings of the Medicine Wheel, but what we actually do is counsel and guide - each from our own training and experience. We provide first of all a safe space for each person to discover themselves and their potential without interference. As Ned will say, "We're not trying to make you Aboriginal. We're just trying to help you be yourself."

NED'S WORDS:

I walk the road of being.  It is my path to share whatever it is that I have. To assist those that require a gentle push. To help them see their potential from a different perspective. To understand teachings that are simple yet profound. I offer these gifts so that each person can improve their own journey of spiritual awareness. I am not a teacher; I have not passed on what I know, feel and understand for others to teach . It has taken me years to even feel comfortable in sharing whatever gifts my Creator has bestowed upon me. My wealth lies in the radiance of each guest as they pass through the tunnel of self-discovery. All My Relations

DONATIONS

We would like to extend our gratitude to all those who read our list and offered what they had, and more. Thanks to: Shawna Nelson, Donna Reist, Esana, George Zsolnay and Sandra Pimpao, Marsha Gwizd, Judy Hodge, Joanne Allan, Lois Arnold, Patti George, Les Clarke, Penny Whitteman and all the others who brought gifts large and small. Between donations and yard sales, we have managed to cover many of our needs. Yard sales have provided us with canvas tents which we have turned into washing stations - roomier than our previous facilities. We have two so that women and men can have their own to cut down on waiting time.

New in 2001

Week long women's retreats with Deepam




Dates: April 23 - 27, and September 17 - 22 The interest and enthusiasm generated by the weekly Women's Circles, and the fact that at least 80 % of inquiries to the lodge are from women, brought the idea of an exclusive women's retreat into being. In these retreats there will be an opportunity to explore the world of Tibetan Pulsing through the streaming process. We will work with our relationship to the many facets of our feminine beings. There will also be movement, dance, meditation, time spent in nature, as well as lots of time to spend freely - canoeing, hiking, or just sitting silently by the river.

Week long retreats with Ned and Deepam




As many guests have suggested that longer, more extensive programs be offered we have put together a Monday to Friday group running in May and in August. This will still have all the elements of inner "work" that the weekend program has, as well as a big helping of fun. We will spend a day in the bush walking and "seeing" and "being" and having a picnic. We will spend time in meditation and silence. We will work deeply with the teachings of the Medicine Wheel. And we will create our own art using many different mediums including voice, instruments, paint, and found objects. There will be one retreat offered in May and one in August.

What's Deepam Up To?

Last year Ned encouraged me to have a "healing sweat". He organized the ceremony and invited the participants. Several people I suggested could not attend and some I didn't know participated. I struggled to "surrender" to the situation. and let go of my reservations and expectations about how it should be, but I knew that I held back the real stuff that I needed to address. That was in part due to me not being totally focused. Afterward we both agreed that another ceremony was needed, as was a time of isolation and reflection. What was also clear to me is that I needed to feel ready.  In the summer I began to collect objects for giving away; gifts from shops and yard sales. In the back of my mind I knew what I was doing, but the idea hadn't clearly formed. I also had an extra keen eye out for "Grandfathers", the rocks used in the ceremony. Our summer was difficult for many reasons and in many ways, and that helped me realize that some intense time of meditation, silence and prayer was needed. A diagnosis of cancer, a heartbreaking relationship with our eldest daughter, along with a heavy workload and responsibility in need of redistribution pushed the date closer. All of the components of a healing sweat and fast fell together smoothly and easily. That confirmed that the time chosen was right. I carefully chose the people that I needed to support me during this time. All except for my dear friend Barbara Walker, who had just moved to Ferney, British Columbia, where she now owns a beautiful lodge, were able to attend. Many wonderful people with pure hearts and intentions offered to take part in the Healing Sweat, and I felt very grateful for their support. For myself I recognized that I needed this time to be very intimate. I still have a slight inclination to the theatrical if I am not careful, so it was important that those who were near were ones I felt knew me well, didn't need or expect anything of me, and could just listen.  My sister, Barbara McKell, sent out a request to all of the women healers she knew to send their gifts Sebright way on the date of the Healing Sweat. I was very touched by that. That following Monday during a yoga class with Esana I was struck by the ease of movement and meditation I was experiencing. I went into a deep state of bliss, encountering the essence of myself. I recognized in a wordless kind of way how far I had come on my journey, that I had become who I had aspired to be; that I was home. I felt so good, so positive, and not about anything in particular. This state lasted a few days. There was the distinct feeling of being "held up", like I didn't have to expend any extra energy at all to move through my day. It was easy just to be.  I received an email from my sister stating that many of the women she had asked to help had sent the request on to all the healers they knew, and that many were already sending whatever healing they had my way. Suddenly I got it! This support and help that was being directed at me was real. Palpable. Tangible. I could almost reach out and touch it.  When I was first diagnosed in 1991 many people reached out to help - prayers, ceremony, healing sessions, and love. Although I felt that I received these offerings I believe now that I was not far enough along in my own process to fully appreciate or utilize what was offered. In the last years so many illusions have fallen away - illusions that kept me separate.  So I extend my deepest and warmest gratitude to all those who have helped me along the way - both those that I realized at the time, and those I only got part of then. Especially I would like to thank Brent Titcomb and Cheryl Russell, Marianne Danaan, Dheeraj, Hiro, Prabhuta, Dariya, Samarpito, Mahapatra, Daniela, Lina, Vera Martin, Edna Manitowabi, Gord Smith, Thong, and Werner Fabian MD. Ned led my Healing Sweat on a warm October afternoon, and in it I felt safe, protected, loved, and heard . In that environment it was so easy to speak my truth and to hear what the others had to say. By the time I entered my sanctuary where I would spend the next couple of days I was wide open and well prepared. Judy had prepared my space so beautifully I didn't feel that I was in a place of deprivation - more like a palace than a cell! The teepee was laid out with care and love - every detail down to strips of birch bark and matches should my fire go out, to a dry change of clothes for after the sweat lodge to a lantern beside my freshly made bed set in the western doorway. The first night I just lay down to watch the fire as I drifted into a beautiful gentle sleep. Morning dawned bright and warm. Such luxury not to have to prepare anything, clean anything, phone anyone, fix anything... I picked up my drum, smudged it and myself and sang a song to the eagle and the new day. My drum. My exquisite drum, painted with love, by Ned, with a beaver, deer, wolf, hummingbird, eagle with the Medicine Wheel in its belly, rimmed with sweetgrass, and presented as a birthday present in August.  I began to drum and it felt so good I drummed and sang all day. I sang a song for each person I made prayer ties for. I sang a song of remembering... each person who affected my life - those who loved me, those whom I loved... and when I came to the first man who loved me my heart suddenly broke open with pain, regret, longing, grief, and guilt. In a rush so much came clear about why I was sick. I had been self indulgent, inconsiderate, and cruel to this man who had given his love unconditionally. Throughout my life I have always held him very close, hoping one day to redeem myself, be forgiven. In those moments in my teepee I finally understood the last piece of this part of my work, and knew that I had to let him go. Forgiving myself didn't mean that what I did was all right. I could accept responsibility and give him back to himself and me back to myself. I haven't seen or heard from this man in more than twenty years, and I'm sure I have faded into the distant mists for him, so it was a matter of cutting an energy cord that only I was feeding. Such relief to arrive at this place.  For the two days I was in the teepee I was aware of some hunger and thirst, but never felt the urge to eat or drink. Hunger and thirst were just sensations just as feeling warmth. I didn't need to do anything about it.  The other remarkable thing about my time was the connection I shared with those who stood guard, "held space", or otherwise took care that my Fast was what it needed to be. Esana sat in meditation for the entire time, in her own teepee on the other side of the grove, and I could tangibly feel her there, all senses keenly tuned to me and my needs. The love and gratitude I felt and feel for her time and energy is inexpressible. And Amanda coming out in the night to stand by the teepee and sing to me, and taking care of my little boy all the while I was "away", and my sister making the long journey twice to be there for me, and Ned bringing Ben out on Sunday morning to sing to me... his sweet voice telling me he loved me... all these things make my heart swell and threaten to burst from its cage of  bones. The "coming out sweat" nearly killed us it was so hot. If Neitzche was right then we all must be very strong now! It was powerful and magnificent, and I know we were all heard, our tiny voices encased in canvas and soaked with steam, because they were all there with us for that space in time - the spirits, the Grandfathers, the Grandmothers, those ancient ones. They were there. The last of the frozen summer blueberries were served along with strawberries and raspberries. I discovered in that clean state I was very sensitive to the berries. The blueberries felt very grounding, earthy, while the red berries were lighter, like they vibrated at a a higher frequency.  The feast was outrageous - fresh oysters!!! Ned told Judy that she had to see my face when I ate them, that it was worth the price. I almost fell over when I saw Barbie and Ned struggling over the shells. There were tiny and sweet. Nectar! And smoked salmon, shrimp, squash soup with ginger, roast chicken... A wonderful meal. They even had a birthday cake, which seemed appropriate somehow. I am truly blessed. All My Relations. Deepam                             photo courtesy Cheryl Duggan

Alison's song:

The birds in the fields are singing their song, Brother crow on a branch is caw-cawing along, Grandfather sun is about to arise, And I give thanks to the Creator for my many lives. I turn to the east and give thanks for the new day, Then to the south as I continue to pray, On to the west around the Medicine Wheel I go Heading for the north, wisdom and snow. I look up to Father Sky where the geese fly above Then down to Mother Earth and give thanks for her love, And then I go to Spirit within And I'm so very grateful for this song that I sing.

Thank you, Alison!
 
 

 

We learn not only how to build a hand drum and a song to take home, but that there is a teaching and a learning in everything we do. How we approach it, how we listen, how we hear, layers of voice and sound, our capacity to share and give of ourselves; all these are folded into the skin of the drum as we soak, cut, weave and stretch. We are offering the opportunity to partake in a drum building workshop on most  Fridays, with the option of participating in the weekend program starting on Saturday. The drum made on Friday can then go into the Sweat Lodge on Saturday to be birthed and blessed. To take part in this extended program guests arrive on Thursday night, or early Friday morning, at their convenience.

THE "NEW LAND"

Improvements:
 

Those feedback forms and closing circles have helped give us perspective as well as ideas on how to improve what we offer. While a fire without the smoke would be a great improvement it just isn't possible. We are still working on ways to cut down on smoke, though, because that seems to be just about the only negative feedback we get. However, other things are within our control, and that is what we have addressed. With the acquisition of two canvas tents we now offer two washing stations with tables and chairs inside. The work on a new outhouse is complete. It is a roomy two-seater right next to the wash station on the upper flat. For those who are reluctant to venture out at night camping potties are available to have in your teepee with you.  Ned has built a beautiful arbor to cover the area outside the sweat lodge so we and the sacred objects can stay dry during inclement weather. In the spring there will be a new teepee and a "party tent" for group work.

 

 
 
 

In closing we'd like to again extend our gratitude to all of our guests for making Jalbun Lodge what it is, and to all of those who have lent their time and energy to making it happen. Like Ned says, “We don't know what we do here, we just do it.  Deepam says, “We start the process and get out of the way.   And Ben says, “Wanna see my toys?  In other words, what happens here is because of everyone's input, and it does just seem to work. The feedback, for the most part, has been that our mandate to create a safe environment to explore the inner world and heal has been carried through, and that is so gratifying. Miigwetch

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705-833-2641

890 Monck Road, RR1 Sebright,
ON, Canada L0K 1W0

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