Jalbun Lodge Spring & Summer, 2001

As the months and years pass Jalbun Lodge defines itself more clearly. I say this because the lodge has emerged as a very distinct entity unto itself. Originally Ned and I may have had a vision of how our facility would look or “behave”; however, the reality has been a little different.To be truthful, our initial picture was of a hundred or so acres laced with nature trails through mixed bush, a small lake and meandering river, a craft shop, visiting Elders, workshops in all the traditional healing arts and craft making techniques, even wilderness adventures, as well as various other cultural experiences. That was a dream we had when we still lived in Toronto and were traveling the pow wow circuit selling our crafts: drums and drumsticks, bead and bone chokers, hair ties, and bracelets. We longed to be in the country, offering the kind of experience many who stopped by our booth seemed to be hungry for. We were also ready to stop traveling every weekend.
We chose our four acre parcel of land because it was pretty, the house was adaptable, but most of all because of the beautiful Head River that flowed by. The second time we viewed the property a beaver was swimming downstream at a leisurely pace. It was a magical moment that somehow sealed the deal. Ned has always received special “emails” and teachings through our animal relatives. Perhaps this creature was not only telling us that this was our home, but also foretelling the hard work and diligence that would be needed in the years to come.
By the time we purchased the land we had abandoned the idea of creating a cultural centre, as we felt that the space was too small and we had no capital funds to begin such a venture. However, after a hectic year of weekend traveling to pow wows and my weekly commuting schedule to Toronto to maintain my practice, we decided to utilize Ned’s abilities and knowledge in a good way.
Ned has worked with Elders all across Turtle Island learning their teachings and ways and developing his own. One of Ned’s greatest attributes is his ability to listen, and to hear what is truly being said. People are naturally drawn to him to ask for advice, trusting instinctively in his counsel. It seemed logical and fair to extend his gifts to those who would come.
Ned’s brother, Sandy donated his 15’ teepee. We decided to start small, with what we already had, and put a weekend package together, giving participants a taste of Native culture and ceremony, imparting some of the wisdom of the Medicine Wheel, and offering delicious whole food meals as well as the opportunity to sleep in the teepee. We put an ad in a Toronto alternative magazine and waited. Within a month we had our first small group. It was Ned’s “show”. My job was to cook and look after our son, Benjamin. What we discovered in a first inkling sort of way is that our guests took away much more than what we actually did or gave or offered.

As the weekend programs progressed we understood more and more clearly that we were being helped in so many ways. We had support and assistance that we could never hope to describe in a business plan or proposal. Looking back it is almost impossible to pinpoint the moments of change, as what we are now experiencing is just this particular moment in time at Jalbun Lodge, and it is a constantly emerging organic being.
At some point in the first year of operation it became clear to me that there were places for me in the program, so I began to sit in and offer my insights into what was being shared after the exercises. There was an evolution happening there too, an ineffable molding and shaping, sometimes occurring as a result of feedback, other times through insight, and others still because of simple need. The meditations, activities, and exercises have been added to, subtracted from, and modified according to the individuals and groups that participate. One major addition was that of voice and movement. After the first year it became evident that the guests tended to grow sleepy and sluggish after the morning's activities, so I initiated the nature walks out into the bush to sound and move, stirring up the physical and emotional energy. This sometimes proved difficult, either because of time constraints or due to inclement weather, but this spring we purchased a marquee tent and are now able to achieve the same objective without leaving the property. With this facility there is the added benefit of being able to use music when appropriate.As we move through weeks and months into years the evolution continues, and our respect and gratitude deepens for all who enter the circle to learn and to teach. 

The formation of our circle of helpers is also an ever evolving entity. Working together and independently the lodge's helpers form an essential circle. The term putzer evolved from the answer to the question, "What have you been doing?" "Oh, putzing around", meaning doing various tasks to keep things in order. Putzer became defined this past season as those who do whatever is needed to make it happen.
Judy has been with us since May of 2000, and Les Clarke has become a greatly valued member of our team. He initially participated in the weekend program three years ago, and returned the following year to do it again. Last year he Fasted at the lodge. With Les it is again difficult to say exactly when he became an integral part of what we do, as his presence has always been unassuming and undemanding from both sides. Patti has shown herself again and again to be the kind of friend and sister that one dreams of having. She has selflessly offered herself and her services over the past year and some, doing whatever is required to keep the boat afloat. Amanda does a diligent and heartful job of tending the "door" of the Sweat Lodge, keeping us protected and cared for. She also cares for the little ones during the program, taking them on adventures and imparting valuable teachings while they believe they are just having fun. And Esana, whenever her full life permits, offers her service, her wisdom and her love as well as her expertise, to make our circle that much wider. Alison took an entire weekend in September, when Ned and I attended my nephew's wedding, to paint my treatment room. These are our “putzers” Yes, there have been some sharing and clearing circles that have been painful and difficult, but ultimately of tremendous importance. After the heaviest of meetings where everything personal and historical gets triggered and surfaces there is always a great sense of relief and an outpouring of love. This is the work we must do in order to offer what we do to those who come. The putzers work is not simply to clean the toilets, chop the wood, prepare the menus for the meals, cook, mow the lawn, rake the bush, set up the teepees and wash stations, do the laundry, shopping and book work, clean the kitchen and dining room, lay the fires, and do repairs. It is also to be diligent about their own inner work. Being honest, coming clean, staying present, and all the other components of spiritual, emotional, mental and physical health are essential to do the work we do. So I would like to acknowledge our precious circle of putzers who work so hard and with such dedication to contribute to making Jalbun Lodge what it is.

Those putzers were indispensable when it came to the inaugural Women's Retreat at the end of April. This was an intensive, week long process that was conceived during “Shivasana”, the final posture of my yoga class. It is a posture of surrender and repose, silence and stillness. Out of that open witnessing came the crystallized vision of offering to a group of women the bounty of everything I have learned in the last twenty years. It was as if all of what I knew was bound and wrapped in a gift box and at a breath of silence it unfolded, the ribbons and paper spontaneously unfurling to reveal the treasures within.
When the idea was presented to Ned and Judy there was immediate support. There were months of preparation, organization, promotion, but in the end the effort was rewarded richly on many levels. The group was a transformation for all involved, even for Les and Ned, who worked on the “outside” to protect us and ensure that whatever we needed was supplied and ready, such as firewood and water, not to mention clean towels! The women's group opened new doors for us all, but particularly in terms of that inward expansion and evolution I have spoken of in previous editorials. We witnessed the actualization of the lodge coming of age in terms of having very real and valuable life beyond the weekend program.
* I have written a detailed account of that first week. If you are interested please email me and I will be happy to forward a copy to you.

Increasing numbers of guests have requested Ned’s counseling gifts on a regular basis. This has been of tremendous benefit for those who wish to follow up after participation in the weekend program. As Ned’s “office” is the teepee his services are referred to as “teepee time”. Ned’s ability to simplify complicated issues, to listen to the heart more than the words, to not interfere in the process while at the same time help to clarify what the process is, has heartened many and assisted them in finding their own strength and capacity.
 

Once spring came I was able to return the attention to the lodge and reopen the Women's Healing Circle. Initially the circle met on alternating Wednesday s, but as the season progressed we held it every week. Many newcomers visited our circle making each week unique and exciting. Judy and I co-hosted which was wonderful in that it allowed us both to participate as much as facilitate. The evening usually begins with some movement, either dance or active meditation, in the marquee tent, and then after a brief break we convene in the Community Teepee for smudge, sharing circle, and songs with drums and rattles. These meetings are supportive rather than confrontational, open and friendly and fun, while helping to stir us up, be honest, and feel how wonderful other women are. With the arrival of winter our women's groups no longer meet. Last year we kept going until the heavy snow kept everyone away. We will open the circle again in May. 

In July Benjamin and I went blueberry picking. We gathered a disappointing handful of small berries, but  had fun trekking through the bush, scrambling over rocks, and admiring all the treasures we found; like nuggets of quartz, interesting sticks and various animals’ scat. As we were preparing to return home Ben came upon a turtle shell lying on its back. He was so thrilled and greatly anticipated his Daddy's reaction. He held it proudly all the way home, saying he would like to make a rattle and hoped his Daddy would help him.
In the days that followed Ned and Ben prepared the shell, gathered red willow for the handle of the rattle and pebbles to fill it, and cut the thong to bind it. It was Ben who initiated the ceremonial atmosphere of the production by offering samma (tobacco) for the gifts of the earth, and smudging everything that was used before beginning the process. He selected each pebble individually as an Elder might do, this old man in a four year old’s body.
In the next Sweat Lodge Benjamin sang, bringing his rattle to life during the first "round". More than a few tears were shed by those hearing his sweet strong voice singing his version of the eagle song.
"Oh yeah!"